Tuoyo is with Alero his "contraband" at Protea Hotel Ekpan. She has her hand on his thigh in a very proprietary way as if to say "na my own" and Tuoyo knows very well he is not "her own" in any way as Mama Bemigho who has his Title and Deed is probably home right now waiting for him. Yes. The minute he leaves Alero's side, he will resume his official name of Papa Bemigho. But for now he is enjoying being "Tuoyo darling" again.
And Egbegbemi walks in. YAHWA!!!! Ekpukpume yeju!!! Of all his wife's friends to enter, it is Egbegbemi. She never liked him and has not hidden her hate from when he and her wife were dating. Egbegbemi and her friend Osemaye sit at the very next table and Egbgbemi starts to dial Egbegbemi: Mama Bemigho, I dey with your husband for Protea hotel so.....yes. You know that girl wey we hear say dey friend am? That yellow girl wey do go Abraka? Yes. The unfortunate Oyibo..Yes...wey her mama born give whiteman when she climb ship? no no. No be that one. That one na good girl. The one wey I show you that day say my junior sister say your na your husband smallie. Yes yes. Your husband with am dey here so. He Guinness and eat groundnut to show say na action film Yesssss..... They have been telling me my friends husband comes here with Tseke Oyibo, I said I must see it for myself. They went up, spent two hours in Suite 205, came down and that was when your husband Tuoyo ordered the small stout. If you see am right now, na drip you for order for am. Na Osemaye I first phone make I for get witness.....Make I give your husband the phone???? (She goes over to Papa Bemigho and hands him her phone) Your wife, my friend say make I give you phone Papa Bemigho: (He whispers in Alero's ear) "if you no answer her. If you quiet, I go buy you the latest Ipad. Just quiet. Just take am say you dey work the ipad money with your silence" He walks right past Egbegbemi, pays the cheque and zooms off with Alero who is thinking about her new Ipad. Yes oh. Alero follows quietly. She has a few things to tell that sis Egbegbemi. She is here making this phonecall and her own husband cries for Elohor and is begging her to marry him. They are both in Dubai together right now and she is here calling another woman telling her nonsense. Tuoyo has never promised her anything. He comes every now and then and is a very nice guy. He has his wife, she has her boyfriend. They just "run things" and he gives her money to "block" or bribe lecturers in courses she knows she might not do well. She cannot wait to finish and start working. But before then, a girl has got to survive and have nice things too. How else will she have afforded University education if not for guys like Tuoyo? Do you have Vac jobs in Nigeria? Abeg make dem leave her jooor. Her thoughts are interrupted by Tuoyo's phone ringing. He picks it up TUOYO (Papa Bemigho) Hello Mama Bemigho: Tuoyo, where are you. You must be mad. You think you can disgrace me. After all I have done for you. You dare to cheat on me? How dare you??? Listen, do not bother to come home. Just stay with that slut that useless smelly stupid small rat. The marriage is over. Don't dare come to this house. Idiot Useless man. Let me lay my hands on you and that stuuuuuuupid girl. In fact consider yourself a divorcee. Papa Bemigho: says nothing. The lines goes dead. Mama Bemigho calls back. Phone is switched off And she waits....and waits....and waits. 10 oclock, eleven, 3 oclock. Next morning. she waits and waits. Then she calls all his friends and none has seen or heard from him. She wonders how she can find out the place of that stuuuuuupiiiid small girl but she hears she stays at Deco Road in a face-me-I-face-you with her mom and brothers. Her husband cannot be there. Papa Bemigho must die today.Let him just remain there. she waits and waits, night ....morning...afternoon....night. And she dozes off by 4 a.m. its been 36 hrs that she has been awake. She is woken up by noises of wardrobes opening and closing. She opens her eyes and in the semi-conscious state of sleep and wakefulness she sees papa Bemigho. She is so tired she is trying to muster up the energy to scream at him and curse the useless man out but then she sees he is silently packing two huge bags Mama Bemigho: Where have you been??? (Silence. Papa Bemigho is packing his things. He picks up his Oritsefemi Cd lying on the ground. Mama Bemigho is Livid she continues trying to raise her voice, suddenly finding her strength.) How dare you Tuoyo? and where are you going Papa Bemigho: I am moving out. I am packing Mama Bemigho is shocked. she cannot believe her eyes nor ears Mama Bemigho: Pack? To where? For what? Why? Papa Bemigho: You remember you said if I ever cheated on you that is the end of our marriage? Also yesterday you said I should consider myself a divorcee. EHEN, so I guess i have to move out and i need some of my personal belongings. I am sorry I had to come home. Mama Bemigho: Tuoyo wait wait wait.... Papa Bemigho. No need to wait. I misbehaved. I did the unforgivable. I cheated. I have to go. How dare I cheat on my beautiful wife? A woman who is my everything. A woman who bore me my children and even before that, whose father helped me get a very good job....Chevron for that matter. tu mo tse e san. You have told me to ku lo li we. To leave the house. So I am going. This is totally unforgiveable. I am just an ingrate. Mama Bemigho: (she is confused. This is not how she planned it. No. She is an Itsekiri girl from old Warri Money. She never speaks pidgin like all these local people. She has lived her life with honour and grace. Why should she share a man and his manhood with...But wait Her husband is moving out of their marital home. This is not how she planned her life or marriage or future.....Bemigho is packing. That has to take precedence......what should she do? This is not happening. She stands in front of the door as papa Bemigho struggles with the biggest bag. You are going nowhere Papa Bemigho: How can I be here when I am a divorcee. I have to go. Odejuma. Bye bye. I will come later so we can divide the children.. I will take Bemigho, you will take Misan... or anyone you want Mama Bemigho: You are going nowhere Papa Bemigho: But you said I should not even come back to the house yesterday. Pls let me go. I am a cheat mama Bemigho: You are going nowhere ohhhhhhh Papa Bemigho: See, I did terrible things. I do not deserve to be here. I am a useless man. I am no-good. I am... pls let me pass mama Bemigho: Pass and go and meet who? You try well well. You look me like mumu abi? Na me you want catch mugu Tuoyo Papa Bemigho: Shell Ogunu girl, you speak pidgin? Na wah, pls let me pass Mama Bemigho: I say you are not leaving this house. Papa Bemigho: But I am a cheat. Your tatafo friend Egbegbemi with her fat yeye smelly Ghana yansh saw me. She even has a witness in Osemaye. Mama Bemigho: Are you the first man to cheat? She should mind her business Papa Bemigho: But...em... Mama Bemigho: See, I am not a fool. This your style sef I know am. Na akpako you dey nack so. But you try. I clap for you. Tupoyo tuoyo. Brain man. You try. You go form vex comot from house, follow that girl go enjoy then after one month flexing holiday, pastor and family go come settle us meanwhile you dey flex and me, dem pay bride price for my head abi so no flexing for me? The style no work. Tuoyo keep your bag. Your food dey fridge, make I go warm am Papa Bemigho: Mama Bemigho. Eyela oh Oritse mobie. What are you saying? Mama Bemigho: I no only get wisdom, I get wiseness too. Papa Bemigho: I don't understand Mama Bemigho: Wisdom is what I learnt growing up.The things I was taught Like when a man cheats the marriage is over as it means he does not respect you and will do it again. Wiseness na the street sense. That one you dey drop pride and wetin people go talk and get or keep wetin be your own by any means necessary. Because my papa get money and I dey go abroad for holiday no mean say I no get wiseness. If I follow you quarrel this quarrel, na me go lose. You think say u sharp abi? I do not speak pidgin nor allow Africa magic at home so our kids do not fail WAEC later in life.. Na from small dem dey straight K-leg. Yes at first when we were dating it was forming but...see I be Tseke. I be warri girl/ I know you think you are smart now oh. You did counter attack abi? reverse psychology. You try. Na this sharpness make I marry you in the first place. Your brain na tortoise own. You must think well how you go take make up for this hurt wey you hurt me. But come chop first. I made egbagbafofo and Starch. Just know say you dey hurt me badly. Let me warm it. Papa Bemigho. Shakes his head and wonders how stupid he is to cheat on this his wife. This is a thoroughly beautiful woman who has loved him from day one. That he is able to date the Alero's is because of how well his wife takes care of him. She still helps him knot his tie in the morning only for another girl to loosen it in the afternoon? This just has to stop. If he could quit smoking, he can quit this silly philandering. His own wiseness must meet wisdom and not hurt this girl...this wonderful girl God gave him as wife anymore.
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